Meaning

I lay on the grass of oblivion, for I’m being faded away,
For I ignore everything in life, so this is where I want to stay.
I feel so alone, so why not be it here,
Unless going back to real world, I imagine the pain I fear.

The grass I speak of, beautiful flowers surrounds me,
Scents from it, calms, and soothes me so deeply.
I stay here, I know this now, this is where I belong,
For back in the real world, my heart is not very strong.

My heart can finally beat in peace, with less pain,
It is something worth feeling, it doesn’t restrain.
The ambience, I hear, as I close my eyes on grass,
I tear happily, never thought this would surpass.

Relieved I feel lot, and security I feel much,
I will not be entrapped by another woman’s touch.
Here, on this beautiful exquisite field, I am healing,
Yes, I am dead but now I know happy feeling.

Sacred

I speak of a word I have felt of for so long,
This word I cannot say because I feel its wrong.
It pains me greatly, why must it do such thing,
It’s despicable, it blows my self-esteem.

It haunts me inside, and pains me severely,
For I wish there was a way, to set it freely.
Scornful great undesirable pain, the word hurts much,
For I pray others, do not witness the same as such.

A word, so cruel, it discriminates me insanely,
For I am not understanding, I just want to be free.
It has trapped me, and locked me up as a prisoner,
I cannot have freedom, for its in me forever.

Till it is silent, thus I will tell you what word I speak,
Quietly sure, it will hit me hard inside, obscurely so deep.
Emotion is the word I speak, it happens every night,
Profound feeling I do not like, for I feel the need of suicide.

 

4-mily

A miracle, another family, I’ve found quite recently,
4 members of this grateful team, insures me happy.
Mixed fabulous emotions, I witness in this team,
Feeling so massive, my eyes open to a dream.

A big brother we have, giving advices, and clowning on all,
He’ is still the best, considering he’ll catch us when we fall.
For he does not take shit from anyone, he is our protector,
Be it, he is most respected, he will let us down, never!

The lady I must speak of, be it she’s sweet,
The lil sister of the family, but is not at all discreet.
Members of our family, will not and cannot be torn,
For do not try, you will be dealt with severe scorn.

Our other brother, the sweetest of the family,
He will never say no, for he defines the word happy.
The three are the greatest, and definitely the best,
For do not mess with us, I’ll fight for them till dead.

Understand

I ride the clouds and look down upon the sad,
Feeling nothing, don’t know feeling, i’m glad.
Seeing many faces, all has a smile upside down,
Makes me wonder, greatful i’m not on that ground.

On this cloud, I can hear many peoples thought,
They thrive for answers, give up they will not!
I hear a particular voice, a man, in tears,
To himself saying, why must I be alone, for many years.

Thinking to myself, I think I have the answer,
But for I cannot say it, hear can’t it either.
This man, in pain, forever holding on to hope,
Hope is not the answer, for I wish he can re-cope.

For now I understand the sadness of people,
Its strange something so small yet simple.
Brings great deal upon one person, I agree,
For I also that that emotion, with inside me.

There is goodbye.

Flat on my back, I listen to the calm ocean,
Staring into the gleaming sky, such strong emotion.
The stars, I try to count all of em’ too many, I sigh,
Said, I love you, till there are no more stars in sky.

Remembering, I stare into her eyes, my shining star,
But not anymore, I don’t have her, she left me a scar.
More appearing stars, as I keep glazing,
Tells me there’s many more out there, amazing.

What if, why, and how, I relentlessly ask me,
I was told, in her life there was another he.
Painful to me, it has caused great damage,
Didn’t think she’d do that, its not her image.

Call on my cell, meet you in 5 minutes she says,
She comes sobbing, beautiful as she I must careless.
Sorry she said, with her puppy look eyes,
Hugged her, said, I loved you, but goodbye.

Only Memories..

I sit on the highest hill on the city,
Looking over everything at night, its glittering.
Sparkling city lights, its a soothing image,
I want to join it, but isn’t a sinch.

Gazing over the colorful vivid lights,
Many wonderful and lucky people there resides.
I do not envy them, I have accepted my fate,
But I feel bad, for its there I cannot stay.

Glowing city lights blur, beautifully into the sky,
Spreading its aura, its relieving to the eye.
Passionate I am, nothing, I know I need,
As long as I stare, i’m deliberately free.

Sighting into the sky, I see bursting stars,
Something to speculate about, best from afar.
They dissolve slowly, fade one by one,
Rapidly blinking, they disappeared, s’all gone.

City lights again I look down on,
They fade out, and so I ask what’s wrong?
It hits me, I notice, I’m not really looking at anything,
T’was only happy memories I was dwelling, so I’m missing.

Happiness dies, cause the memories are far away,
I’m an outlaw, I repent, no one beside me to stay.
My life, seekingly just wished this wasn’t all real,
Because frieghtened, and alone, is only what I feel.